Imagine with me for just a second…

You are on the edge of a cliff at night, staring at the rolling waves below.  You can barely see them, but you know they are there.  Darkness has fallen over the water, and it has created an unknown environment.  In the distance you see a light-house, a beacon in the night, ushering you towards it.  The only problem is, you have to jump into the water, and swim in order to make it to the other side.  What is going through your mind? Is it safe to jump in?  Do you dare to take the risk? What if there is danger? What if you can’t swim hard enough, and the darkness envelopes you?  What if you get too far, and realize you are too scared and the only thing you want to do, is go back to what’s known and safe; but the only catch is that you’ve jumped off the cliff, and there is no way to get back to it.

That, in a nutshell is what I am going through.  If you know me at all, you know what I probably do as a “Job.” I get paid to change the world just the tiniest bit every day.  I work with young humans, and try to guide them in a positive direction using my words, actions, and sometimes non-verbal communications.  Am I perfect? oh heck no, I make mistakes on a daily basis.  I sometimes say the wrong thing, or make a remark that dampens their mood, but all that being said.  I would like to say, that I’ve created a bond and connection with each and every youth that I’ve come in contact with at work.  There are some that I’ve known since I first started in 2008, and some that I just met within the last few weeks.  Each of them holds something special to me, and I love each of them dearly.  Some are easier than others and some, well, lets just be real for a second here guys, EVERYONE that is reading this; at some point in your life, has watched “The Simpsons.” Well you know how sometimes Bart is acting completely crazy, and out of control and Homer ends up wringing his neck.  Yeah well, I don’t do that, because that’s child abuse, but I’ve felt like Homer a time or two…. but even the Bart Simpson’s of the world have something lovable about them.

So I’ve been there since 2008, and this facility has watched me grow up… literally.  I went there as a kid, and then came back to work as an adult.  As an adult, it has helped me grow, and mature, and in the most sincerest way possible.  It saved me from myself.

Here’s why I’m filling you all in on this… Ready for it?

I’m leaving……. Tomorrow is my last day for a while.

Not forever, I’m not going to the moon, (although that would be pretty stinkin’ amazing) but I am leaving.  After spending the last 7 years of my life in one place I’m going on a new adventure.  This has been a long time in the making, and I’ve worked every little detail out, and it’s really happening.  I’m leaving…  Am I scared? oh yeah.  I’m absolutely terrified.  there is so much fear in the unknown.  But I’ll be back at the end of summer.

That being said, when we push ourselves to the limits and outside of our comfort zone.  It forces us to adapt to the change and most importantly to grow…..  We find ourselves discovering new-found strength and re-igniting the fires of passion and drive.  So while I am terrified, and fearful of ever-looming fact that I might not be as successful as I’d hoped.  I am so excited to embark on this journey of growth and exploration.  I am exhilarated to find out what I am made of.  I am thrilled to find out what new sense of resiliency I might have that is just beneath my conscious mind.  In a way, I am returning to my roots with my adventure, but in an entirely different capacity.

I realize that I’ve been elusive on what I will actually be doing when I leave the Youth Center, and that is intentional.  Not because I want to deceive you all, but it really and truly doesn’t matter.  What matters is the message.  I am that kid standing at the cliff, looking out at the water that is my new adventure…. the lighthouse is my end-game, and the proverbial light doesn’t amount to death (so please don’t take this in a morbid sense), it amounts to a new day as a changed person.  A person that can look forward, and not look back.  I am jumping off the cliff into the water, nervous about the journey across, and knowing that looking backwards to safety (that is my current life-which I love… don’t think I don’t) is there.  But in order to grow, I have to do this, not for anyone else, but for me.  I have to know what that light-house is……. I will struggle, and I will stress-out on things.  But I will succeed, because I know that I am capable of handling infinitely more than I am comfortable with.

So, I will leave you all with this.

If you find yourself in a similar situation….. I urge you to dive head-first into the waters of the unknown, as long as you know where you are coming from and where you want to go. the Journey is everything you need to grow, although the waters may be rocky, don’t get scared and turn back. Press onward my strong friends. I know I will…

That’s all for now, until next time my friends, be well, love fiercely, smile, and push yourself outside of your comfort-zone. I think you might enjoy it.

–L