growth

One hundred thousand miles

/ lioneltorres / Leave a comment

One hundred thousand miles.

 

It seems like such a large number, and it definitely is. That’s how many miles I’ve driven in my Toyota Camry.

 

Lets break that down really quick…

 

It’s taken me almost 6 years to reach that number, and it got here way before I ever intended it to.  At an average travel speed of 60mph (which isn’t really how fast I went the entire time… sometimes slower, and sometimes a lot faster… “allegedly”) that figures out to being 1,666.66 hours spent in my car.  Which means that I have literally spent 2 out of the last 72 months in transit……… wow, kind of crazy when you really put it in terms like that.

 

 

I find it only appropriate that my 100,000-mile mark is being crossed while on a road-trip.  I was on my way to Colorado, and I had realized about midway through Kansas that I was going to hit it… I instantly panicked for a second…. “HOLY SMOKES! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE THAT WARRANTS 100,000 MILES” and I really began to think…. what had I done with my life for the last 100,000 miles?

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not; I sat there driving my car in complete silence for probably hundred miles thinking.  Here’s what I came up with:

 

I’ve grown to be six years older with that car.  It has seen me through some amazing “ups” and has been a place of solace through my fair share of “downs.”

 

In the last 100,000 miles of my life journey… I’ve seen life, amazing, and wonderfully unique life being brought into this world… My little brother B.  So inquisitive, and quick-witted, but his life journey began within my journey… crazy.

 

In the last 100,000 miles I call my life…. I’ve seen death: unstoppable, a thief in his own… it has robbed several loved ones of their time on Earth.  My car has helped me grieve, provide a place of comfort, and a place where i’ve cried at least a hundred times…

 

I’ve seen triumph, in my continuing the journey of higher education.  Making the honor roll, which I kid you not, had not happened since I was in the third grade.

 

I found joy in writing. I never thought I would, because as a child/teen/young adult, for the most part I didn’t enjoy it. It could be because it was “required” haha. Now I have a blog, and I love the chance to write about just about anything.

 

I’ve had some amazing vocal performances in my car, and I am so proud to say, that I had to turn down a Grammy nom, for my stunning rendition of Miss Katy Perry’s “Unconditionally.” seriously, you should thank me for that Katy, I’d have stolen your thunder, girl……… I’ve actually lost my voice during a trip driving to visit relatives 10 hours away (word of advice: just because you CAN sing for 10 hours worth of music and driving…. doesn’t mean you should….. Oh yeah, also, if you sing in your car long enough, you do become as good as Beyoncé, Keith Urban, Adam Levine; aaaaaaaand if you do it long enough, inevitably you are going to get caught in the car somewhere… I’m almost positive I’ve ended up on the Internet somewhere in a show-stopping performance.) Some of you have been subject to the audio punishment when riding in a car with me.

In the last one hundred THOUSAND miles, I’ve learned the value and cost of friendship… I’ve ended friendships that were cancerous, and not healthy… I’ve created friendships, and built bonds with so many people, some of whom I know WILL be life-long friends.

 

I’ve interacted with thousands of people, through work, leisure, and school (which is basically another form of work… I’m just saying… it is.) I have had an opportunity to learn a little bit about them, and more importantly about myself… In the 100,000 miles I have learned that my words can build people up, and help them realize their potential, and I’ve also learned that words, once said, can never be taken back; words can destroy, and devastate someone. As a society we’ve seen the effects that words can have on a person, through the growing numbers of teen suicides.

 

What I hope I may have done accidentally in the last one-hundred-thousand miles:

Change a life– I would love to be able to say I MIGHT have been able to impact someone’s life in a positive way, but I can’t.

Change the world– I’d like to say that I’ve changed the world in the tiniest way possible by trying to be a positive person.

Inspire- There really isn’t anything I can here… I just hope I’ve inspired someone…

It was funny, when I rolled over the 100,000-mile mark; I tried soaking in the moment…

100,000miles

I was in Kansas, there was NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING around. It was 1:53pm, and 59 degrees outside… The song playing on the radio was “For Good” performed the cast of GLEE, which I found to be the most fitting, because it made me think of everyone I’ve shared a moment of my life with in the last 100,000 miles. It makes me smile, because I truly do believe what the lyrics say, “Because I knew you, I have been changed. For good.”

I want to thank each and every one of you so much for sharing your life with me… Life is so unexpected and fragile; each moment should be cherished, enjoyed and appreciated. In the last 100,000 miles, I have appreciated a lot… in the next 100,000 I hope to get the chance to create even more memories.

What have you done in the last 100,000 miles of your life? You ever stopped to think?

Until next time everyone, love fiercely, smile, and keep moving forward, never backwards in this thing we call “Life!”

Here’s to the NEXT 100,000!

 

Much Love,
–L

 

My cat can fly

/ lioneltorres / 3 Comments

Empowerment….

what is it? well in a nutshell it basically means to promote self-actualization, and broken down even further and using terms I am sure we have ALL heard at one point or another. “reaching your full potential.”I know for the most part, everyone at some point in their life has heard this from someone, whether it be a parent, an employer, or an educator.  My high school dramatic arts teacher at one time or another told me that a time or two something along the lines of, “you can do so much better, you haven’t done your best work, now try it again” these statements usually followed a minuscule effort put forth by yours truly…  I swear I heard that more in my high school career than the average person from my parents and educators, and guess what?!  They were right, and I have told both my Dramatic Arts instructor, and mentor thank you for pushing me to be the best I could be.  I am so excited anytime I hear someone I know has a child enrolled in her class, because they aren’t going to be taught only about the dramatic arts, but they are going to be empowered with valuable skills that will help them throughout the rest of their lives….
Now as an adult, I find myself in the same position, looking at others imagining and wishing they could see themselves how I see them, capable of greatness, and so much more.
 For several years I worked as a program assistant, providing educationally creative programming to young people, trying to help them reach their full potential.  When their was a task at hand, it was all work, but when it was time to play, oh yeah, it was time to play trust me, because playtime for young people, is just as important as time spent focusing on an educational task. I’ve been hit by more basketballs, gator-skin balls, and footballs than I care to count, and trust me, kids throw faster than you realize, ha!  Now at one period of time while working there, I was tasked with helping one of the many incredible youth prepare a speech to use in a competition.  This competition, if won, would provide him scholarship money to continue his education.  I made him work hard, and trust me, he knew it, and I knew it.  At one point there was a goof-up oh his end that resulted up with him voicing his opinion about me, TO ME, and not his friends.  It was comical, and I laughed immediately as the following message was a serious back-pedal, and avoidance of me.  He was done working, and it was clear he needed to play, even at 17 years old.  To make an incredibly long story shorter, he won the competition, and received the scholarship…  On numerous occasions following it, he thanked me for pushing him so hard.  My response almost every time was the same, “I knew you could do it, I knew you could do something amazing, YOU just had to realize you could do it.”
Holy smokes, I had become my parents/teachers/employers……..  Now there wasn’t some grandiose moment of realization on my part, it was more of an “ah ha” moment, and thinking “That’s what they meant.”  When you help someone become a better version of themselves, it feels good, and you know you did your part to change the world.
Now why did I go into this drawn-out explanation about my past?  Barbie, a company that makes toys for children recently released a commercial that hit a soft spot.  Here I’ll just let you see for yourself.
When children play, they can be anything they want to be.  Imaginations run wild, and they can be a superhero princess saving the world from giant trolls, a Jedi swinging his light saber, or a doctor curing the most severe case of cooties that this world has ever seen, because Lizzy touched their stuffed animal.  Allowing your child time to be creative, isn’t limiting their education, it’s expanding their ability to play, to think, and to see themselves as something greater than they have yet to achieve.
This ad campaign by Barbie isn’t so much about playtime, as it is about empowering young people to achieve greatness……
Until next time, love fiercely, smile, work hard  play, and empower others.
Much Love,
—L
—

The winds of change……

/ lioneltorres / 1 Comment

Imagine with me for just a second…

You are on the edge of a cliff at night, staring at the rolling waves below.  You can barely see them, but you know they are there.  Darkness has fallen over the water, and it has created an unknown environment.  In the distance you see a light-house, a beacon in the night, ushering you towards it.  The only problem is, you have to jump into the water, and swim in order to make it to the other side.  What is going through your mind? Is it safe to jump in?  Do you dare to take the risk? What if there is danger? What if you can’t swim hard enough, and the darkness envelopes you?  What if you get too far, and realize you are too scared and the only thing you want to do, is go back to what’s known and safe; but the only catch is that you’ve jumped off the cliff, and there is no way to get back to it.

That, in a nutshell is what I am going through.  If you know me at all, you know what I probably do as a “Job.” I get paid to change the world just the tiniest bit every day.  I work with young humans, and try to guide them in a positive direction using my words, actions, and sometimes non-verbal communications.  Am I perfect? oh heck no, I make mistakes on a daily basis.  I sometimes say the wrong thing, or make a remark that dampens their mood, but all that being said.  I would like to say, that I’ve created a bond and connection with each and every youth that I’ve come in contact with at work.  There are some that I’ve known since I first started in 2008, and some that I just met within the last few weeks.  Each of them holds something special to me, and I love each of them dearly.  Some are easier than others and some, well, lets just be real for a second here guys, EVERYONE that is reading this; at some point in your life, has watched “The Simpsons.” Well you know how sometimes Bart is acting completely crazy, and out of control and Homer ends up wringing his neck.  Yeah well, I don’t do that, because that’s child abuse, but I’ve felt like Homer a time or two…. but even the Bart Simpson’s of the world have something lovable about them.

So I’ve been there since 2008, and this facility has watched me grow up… literally.  I went there as a kid, and then came back to work as an adult.  As an adult, it has helped me grow, and mature, and in the most sincerest way possible.  It saved me from myself.

Here’s why I’m filling you all in on this… Ready for it?

I’m leaving……. Tomorrow is my last day for a while.

Not forever, I’m not going to the moon, (although that would be pretty stinkin’ amazing) but I am leaving.  After spending the last 7 years of my life in one place I’m going on a new adventure.  This has been a long time in the making, and I’ve worked every little detail out, and it’s really happening.  I’m leaving…  Am I scared? oh yeah.  I’m absolutely terrified.  there is so much fear in the unknown.  But I’ll be back at the end of summer.

That being said, when we push ourselves to the limits and outside of our comfort zone.  It forces us to adapt to the change and most importantly to grow…..  We find ourselves discovering new-found strength and re-igniting the fires of passion and drive.  So while I am terrified, and fearful of ever-looming fact that I might not be as successful as I’d hoped.  I am so excited to embark on this journey of growth and exploration.  I am exhilarated to find out what I am made of.  I am thrilled to find out what new sense of resiliency I might have that is just beneath my conscious mind.  In a way, I am returning to my roots with my adventure, but in an entirely different capacity.

I realize that I’ve been elusive on what I will actually be doing when I leave the Youth Center, and that is intentional.  Not because I want to deceive you all, but it really and truly doesn’t matter.  What matters is the message.  I am that kid standing at the cliff, looking out at the water that is my new adventure…. the lighthouse is my end-game, and the proverbial light doesn’t amount to death (so please don’t take this in a morbid sense), it amounts to a new day as a changed person.  A person that can look forward, and not look back.  I am jumping off the cliff into the water, nervous about the journey across, and knowing that looking backwards to safety (that is my current life-which I love… don’t think I don’t) is there.  But in order to grow, I have to do this, not for anyone else, but for me.  I have to know what that light-house is……. I will struggle, and I will stress-out on things.  But I will succeed, because I know that I am capable of handling infinitely more than I am comfortable with.

So, I will leave you all with this.

If you find yourself in a similar situation….. I urge you to dive head-first into the waters of the unknown, as long as you know where you are coming from and where you want to go. the Journey is everything you need to grow, although the waters may be rocky, don’t get scared and turn back. Press onward my strong friends. I know I will… My view for the summer.

That’s all for now, until next time my friends, be well, love fiercely, smile, and push yourself outside of your comfort-zone. I think you might enjoy it.

–L